Just a tidbit from Luke Timothy Johnson’s recent piece in Commonweal entitled “How a Monk Learns Mercy: Thomas Merton and the Rule of St. Benedict.”
“The most destructive forms of speech in community, Benedict understood, are those that involve judgments against the other. Benedict calls this form of speech ‘murmuring,’ included [sic] all forms of griping, gossiping, and nagging. He forbids it absolutely. When I was a monk, I thought that the rule of silence was mainly in service of contemplation. Now, after many years of suffering poisoned discourse in the halls of academe, I have come to understand that silence was mainly about charity. As we learn every day in our new world of constant chatter, savage judgment, and long-distance shaming via (anti)social media, when speech is totally without restraint, mercilessness is an almost inevitable consequence.”
There are a number of other useful insights in the article, but whether it is at work, church, or in the home, I can relate to Johnson’s experience here. So much of the talk is negative, tearing down either the hearers or others who aren’t in the room. It makes me think, maybe my house needs more silence…
On the other hand, how do you convince kids to fold their laundry without nagging? I am open to suggestions.
And then, how do you convince them not to nag and judge each other? Besides by example, which, clearly, I’m not good enough at to count on.
Still, this passage in particular was a reminder for me to be careful with my speech. Especially around my kids, who are forming their own patterns on mine. Yikes.
Johnson closes with this thought, summing up the rest of the article. It sounds like marching orders to me:
“But if Christians are to cogently and consistently represent the face of mercy – which is the face of Christ – in this valley of tears, then in some fashion, I think, they must find ways to gather together for prayer, to sing the psalms and canticles, to practice silence in the name of charity, to readily confess their faults to each other, and to receive strangers as Christ.”